Ayahuasca can bring us profound insights about our life, shifts things emotionally within us and be the catalyst for change and growth in our life. It can also affect and integral aspect of your life, your romantic relationship or even lead to a break-up. At first this sounds very scary and not something we would want under any circumstance. It is also not something that is bound to happen and another possibility is a deepened romantic relationship after your Ayahuasca retreat. In this blog post I want to share how an Ayahuasca Retreat might influence your romantic relationship, the shifts that can happen, how to deepen your relationship and when it is best to actually end it…
- Ayahuasca can strongly impact a relationship because it can profoundly impact you.
- Big questions are, how authentic are you (and were you in the past) in your relationship, and is the “new you” compatible with the version of your partner.
- Open and honest communication is the best way to grow together. Or grow apart if the relationship is not serving any more.
- You cannot force your partner on their healing journey or to join an Ayahuasca retreat.
Table of Contents
Should you do Ayahuasca with your partner?
There is no clear yes or no answer if you should drink Ayahuasca with your partner or not. It depends, like many things in life. However, in case you do drink together, it is important that each one of you understands, that you are here for your own personal journey. And so is your partner.
I recommend couples to sit apart from each other in an Ayahuasca ceremony for multiple reasons. Let’s say one of them is going through a difficult time. Many times the partner will try to be there for the person, give them a hug. But in most cases, the person does not need a hug, but actually needs to sit with what came up for them in their journey. An interaction from the outside can be an interruption and can get the person out of their process. So it is important that you respect each others space in the ceremony when you do decide to drink together.
When you go to an Ayahuasca retreat together many patterns can come up that you can dive deeper into. It can be codependency, jealousy, it can be being avoidant or many different aspects. And it is good that those things start to come up and you can communicate and resolve what you need to resolve.
If you should be drinking Ayahuasca with your partner depends on many other things as well. Maybe you are working on something apart from the relationship and it is good that you have the space to explore those aspects for yourself. Or you actually would want to know that your partner is there by your side and that you can talk, bounce ideas of each other the next day. Again it all depends on your relationship, how much stability you have, what you want to explore etc.
It can be a magnificent journey drinking Ayahuasca together with your partner and it can bring you closer together because you will experience each other in a very raw and vulnerable form. Without all the mask and you can communicate about exactly what is important to each one of you (after the ceremony).
How Authentic Do You Show Up In Your Relationship?
Self-discovery through Ayahuasca is like opening up a hidden room within your heart that you've kept under lock and key. As you swing open the doors, you're suddenly faced with a myriad of emotions and behaviors that influence your relationships. Hidden beneath layers of daily routine and unspoken habits, this new awareness starts to create ripples in your understanding of your own authenticity.
You start asking yourself, “Am I really voicing my true needs? Am I genuinely expressing what I like and dislike?” And here's the kicker: you might realize you've been performing a role all along, just trying to meet your partner's expectations.
That's a heavy realization, right? Like you've been dancing to a tune that's not yours. But here's the good news: Ayahuasca hands you a new melody, encouraging you to listen to your own heart. It's like you've been wearing a mask in your relationship, and now, it's time to start peeling off the layers.
Each layer you remove, you're getting closer to your genuine self. You begin to appreciate the power of real, unfiltered emotions, the strength in vulnerability, and the liberation in being true to yourself.
Your journey with this plant medicine is your ticket to authenticity in your relationship. It's about shedding the mask and embracing the joy of being true to who you are, with your partner. It's about being you, completely and unapologetically.
Must read Blog: Ayahuasca Integration – how to maintain the magic of Ayahuasca
Does Your Partner Want to Grow in the Same Way You Do?
Imagine your relationship like a two-person race, where you and your partner are bound together. You've both got to move in sync, right? It's the only way to make progress and reach the finish line.
Here's the big question: Is your partner ready to strap on their boots and join you on this trek? Remember, just like in the race, you two are a team in life. This teamwork isn't about always doing the same things or having the same experiences. No, it's about understanding and supporting each other, about aligning your growth paths.
After gaining more clarity and becoming conscious through Ayahuasca it's like flipping the switch on a spotlight that's shining on the way you both grow and evolve in your relationship. Maybe there are things you've never talked about before. Maybe there are fears or hopes or dreams that have stayed in the shadows. But now these topics are front and center. It's like a catalyst, sparking deep and meaningful conversations you may have sidestepped in the past.
But here's the key: these talks aren't something to shy away from or fear. They're an opportunity, a chance for you and your partner to understand each other on a profound level.
This Ayahuasca journey is about growth and transformation, yes. But it's also about connection, understanding, and shared visions with your partner. It's about seeing if the path you're blazing is aligned with your partner's. After all, it's in facing and overcoming challenges together that relationships become stronger, right? And what's a more significant challenge than exploring the depths of your soul and understanding each other on a level you never thought possible?
Find out if Ayahuasca is right for you
- Will you be safe physically and emotionally?
- How will you be supported in the ceremony?
- How do the facilitators handle difficult situations?
- How will you be able to process the experience?
- You want change, but will your life be unrecognizable after Ayahuasca?
+ 13 things to consider before drinking Ayahuasca?
Ayahuasca and relationships: What is Your Vision for Your Life and How Does This Fit in With Your Partner?
Picture your life as a beautiful painting. It's a masterpiece you're creating every day, brushstroke by brushstroke. Your desires, aspirations, and values are the vibrant colors on your palette. You paint dreams of maybe having kids, or living in a certain place, or sticking to your core values. Now, enter Ayahuasca into the scene. This experience can be like shaking up your palette, introducing new colors or blending the existing ones in a way you've never imagined before.
Here's what I mean. After an Ayahuasca experience, your perspectives can shift (possibly dramatically). It's as if you've climbed to a higher vantage point, and now you see your life and your relationship from a new angle. Suddenly, the colors on your palette might look different. You might start questioning your masterpiece so far. Does it truly reflect who you are now, after your Ayahuasca journey? And where does your partner fit in this new piece of art?
You know, it's not a bad thing if Ayahuasca stirs these questions within you. Quite the opposite, in fact. If these questions bubble up, it's a golden opportunity to take a step back, look at your canvas, and start a discussion with your partner.
Let's face it, talks about your future – kids, location, values, or even the possibility of growing old together, these can be intimidating. But remember, a beautiful painting requires both light and shadow. Similarly, meaningful relationships thrive on joyous times and tough conversations.
So, invite your partner into your studio, show them your canvas, and talk about your new colors. Open up about how your Ayahuasca experience has transformed your vision of your life. But, equally important, listen. What does your partner think? What's their vision for the future?
Remember, the masterpiece of your life is not a solo project. Your partner is there, painting their own canvas right next to yours. With open communication and understanding, you might find that your paintings beautifully complement each other, creating a shared masterpiece that reflects a deep, loving, and long-lasting connection. It's all about discovering whether your visions can blend together to form a harmonious work of art. After all, isn't that what life is all about?
Do Not Force Your Partner to Go on This Journey
But here's the thing: you can share a life with someone, but it doesn't mean you need to share every single step of your journey. You might be ready to dive into the deep waters of Ayahuasca's lessons, but your partner may prefer to dip their toes into the shallows, or they might not feel the call of the water at all.
And that's completely okay.
It's important to remember that just like you found your path to Ayahuasca, your partner has their own journey to make, their own lessons to learn. It might sound like a cliché, but it's true: everyone is on their own spiritual timeline, and it's not our place to speed up or slow down someone else's pace.
And maybe your journey starts to lead you down a different path than your partners. Maybe the difference will start to become more apparent and you start to shift apart. This can be a difficult process to go through. However, ultimately I believe it is the most important to stay true to oneself and whoever is supposed to be on your side will be.
Is the New You Compatible With Your Partner?
Let's get real, change is a part of life. We all grow, evolve, and adapt as we navigate through life's twists and turns. But when you've gone through an experience as profound as Ayahuasca, these changes can feel more like a metamorphosis. Emerging as a whole new you with new perspectives and understandings about your life. So Ayahuasca and relationships are closely tied together.
At first, this can feel exhilarating, liberating even. But as the initial rush settles, you might find yourself casting a fresh eye on different aspects of your life.
The thing is, as you change, the dynamics of your relationship might shift too. This “new you” could be singing a different tune, one that your partner might not be familiar with. You might find yourself asking, “Is this new me compatible with my partner?”
This question isn't about judging your partner or trying to find flaws in your relationship. No, it's more about understanding how your transformation aligns with your shared life. It's about discovering whether this evolved version of yourself fits in the relationship you've built together.
Navigating this space can feel a bit like walking a tightrope. You're balancing the transformation of self on one hand, and the continuity of your relationship on the other. And that's okay. It's a process. It takes time, patience, and open-hearted conversations.
It's important to approach these talks with compassion and empathy, not just for your partner, but for yourself too. Share your feelings, express your changes, and listen to your partner's views. Remember, this isn't a one-way street. Your partner is also experiencing these shifts, though from a different perspective. Their feelings are just as valid.
In the end, it all boils down to understanding. Understanding yourself, your partner, and the unique dance that your relationship is. And who knows? This new you might add a beautiful new rhythm to your dance, making your relationship stronger and more harmonious than ever before. Or you will start to shift apart.
How Supporting and Understanding is Your Partner With the New You?
Changes can be thrilling, like opening a new chapter in the book of life. But let's be honest, they can also be challenging, especially when they ripple into the ocean of your relationship. As you stand on the shores of this new self, you might find yourself looking over your shoulder at your partner, wondering, “How supportive and understanding are they with the new me?”
The transformation you're experiencing is not just about you. It extends out, touching all areas of your life, including the most intimate one – your relationship. The changes you're going through can create waves in your relationship. The thing is, these waves can either strengthen the bond between you two, or pulling you two apart.
This is where the role of your partner comes into focus. Their support and understanding during this time is vital, just as your understanding and support for your partner.
However, it's important to remember that this isn't just about your partner supporting you, it's also about how receptive they are to the changes in you. Are they open and understanding as you navigate the new pathways of your transformed self?
This is not only an opportunity for you to evaluate their acceptance and understanding, but it's also a chance for you two to grow together.
Remember, your partner's response to your transformation can be an incredibly telling sign of the strength and resilience of your relationship. Their support, their understanding, and their willingness to accept the “new you” can strengthen the bond between you two, transforming your relationship into a deep and fulfilling partnership that celebrates growth, change, and above all, love.
Starting to Understand the Codependency You Created With Your Partner
Also through the awareness you gain with Ayahuasca you see the patterns of your relationship differently, and the shadow of codependency emerges. You wonder, “Have I inadvertently fostered this dynamic with my partner?”
Let's be clear: recognizing codependency isn't a death sentence for your relationship. It's an opportunity. An opportunity to understand your relationship dynamics better, and steer the ship towards healthier shores.
Ayahuasca, like a mirror, can reveal truths about ourselves and our relationships that we've overlooked or ignored. It exposes unhealthy patterns, like codependency, that have silently woven into your relationship's fabric. Suddenly, those seemingly shared tasks appear more like you're shouldering your partner's burdens, or perhaps they're carrying yours. The fear of abandonment, the need for validation, the over-reliance—all hallmarks of codependency, now apparent.
This newfound understanding is not a cause for panic; instead, it's a catalyst for change. The awareness Ayahuasca brings can light the way towards transformation. Now that you recognize it, you can start working on healthier, more balanced relationship dynamics. It's about establishing boundaries, promoting self-care, and nurturing a sense of individual identity alongside your shared one.
Ultimately, it's about finding balance. Here's the good news: this newfound understanding is not meant to alarm or discourage you. It's actually a catalyst for change. It's the first step towards healthier relationship dynamics. After all, you can't change what you don't acknowledge, right?
Now, the ball is in your court. Armed with this understanding, you can start working towards creating a healthier, more balanced dynamic in your relationship. Remember, it's okay to lean on each other, but it's also vital to stand strong as individuals.
Do Not Force Things
Ah, the art of letting go. It’s easier said than done, isn't it? Especially when it involves our relationships. But let's put this into perspective.There's a valuable lesson to be learned – the importance of not forcing things.
Sometimes, when we're anxious or uncertain, we tend to hold on tight. Like gripping the handlebars of a bike too hard when the road gets bumpy. But what happens when we do that in our relationships? We might start clinging onto our partner or, even without realizing it, try to shape them into someone they're not. It's like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole—it doesn’t quite work. And it's against the very essence of love and respect, which celebrates individuality and freedom.
This isn't to say you shouldn't work on your relationship or make efforts to bridge gaps. Absolutely, that's important. But it’s equally critical to allow your partner the space to be themselves. Respect their journey, just as they respect yours.
In this intricate dance of relationships, it's essential to lead with kindness, patience, and an open mind. When things feel overwhelming, take a step back and take a deep breath. Listen to your heart. Remember the serenity that comes from understanding that if it's meant to be, it will be.
So, as you navigate the ups and downs, let things flow. Trust in the process, in your partner, and most importantly, in yourself. Believe in the magic of natural progression rather than forceful intervention. After all, the most beautiful things in life are often those that come to us organically, not those we have desperately tried to grasp or control.
How Can You Grow Together?
Growing together as a couple after an Ayahuasca ceremony, or any life-changing journey, isn't a simple, linear path. It's more like tending to a garden. It needs your care, attention, and plenty of patience. But with some nourishing practices, you can make this journey as rewarding as it is enlightening.
One great way to start is with weekly check-ins. Just like you might have a team meeting at work or a study group in school, your relationship deserves a dedicated time and space for reflection and conversation. These check-ins can be a safe space to share your thoughts, feelings, and observations. They can be as structured or as spontaneous as you like, as long as they promote open communication. You might talk about the week that’s passed, the week ahead, or something totally unrelated. The key is to ensure both of you feel heard and valued.
During these check-ins, strive to understand what's important to your partner. The Ayahuasca journey might have shifted your priorities, but that doesn't mean your partner's have changed too. So, show genuine interest in their world. Ask about their dreams, fears, and passions. Respect their views, even if they differ from yours. Remember, you're a team, and knowing what drives the other team player can create a strong, invincible bond.
Ayahuasca and relationships: Express your love, care and respect for each other
Now, let's talk about the L word. Love. And I don’t mean just saying it—I mean showing it. How can you express love, care, and respect for your partner in a way that resonates with them? Think about their love language, and then express your affection in a way that they can truly feel. Be there for them, in times of joy and hardship. Celebrate their victories and support them in their struggles.
Reignite the spark
But what about the romance, the spark that once electrified your relationship? Well, Ayahuasca or not, relationships naturally go through phases, and it's common to feel the spark wane. But that doesn’t mean it's gone forever. You can reignite it. Plan surprise dates, recreate your first date, or try new experiences together. Show up for your partner, not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually as well.
Creating polarity in your relationship is also essential. It brings that yin-yang balance, the irresistible pull of attraction. Remember, it's your differences that drew you together initially. Celebrate them. Allow your contrasting energies to mingle and create a relationship that's vibrant and dynamic.
Growing together in a relationship post-Ayahuasca is indeed a journey—a journey that’s sometimes challenging, but ultimately beautiful. Approach it with an open heart, plenty of patience, and a dash of creativity, and you'll find that growth isn't just possible—it's a beautiful adventure.
Ayahuasca Can Deepen the Relationship
Here's something to remember: Ayahuasca isn't a catalyst for breakups. On the contrary, it can deepen your relationship in ways you might not have imagined. The experience can peel away layers of fear, confusion, and ego, leading to a deeper sense of understanding. This openness can improve communication between partners, creating a strong foundation of trust, respect, and mutual growth. It's like breaking down walls to let more light into your relationship.
Not Drinking Ayahuasca Because You're Afraid of a Break-Up?
Well, let's address the elephant in the room. You might be hesitant to go on an Ayahuasca retreat, fearing it could lead to a break-up. But in doing so, ask yourself this: How true are you being to yourself? In what ways are you compromising yourself to maintain your relationship?
Remember, relationships are about love, growth, and mutual respect. If the fear of losing your relationship is holding you back from exploring and growing, it might be time to reassess. The Ayahuasca journey is deeply personal, and it's essential to make this decision based on your needs and readiness, not fear.
Yes, relationships are a mirror, just like Ayahuasca. Through Ayahuasca you will start to become aware of your patterns and know yourself better. That way you will express yourself more authentically, drop the mask, communicate your needs and be more empathetic towards your partner, just to name a few benefits.
There's no universal answer to this question. Ayahuasca doesn't cause breakups. However, it can bring clarity and help you see your relationship more honestly. Sometimes, this might lead to the realization that a relationship isn't serving you, but just as often, it can help couples grow closer.
Not at all. Everyone has their path of spiritual exploration. If your partner chooses not to partake in Ayahuasca, it doesn't mean your relationship is doomed. The key is understanding, respect, and open communication about your experiences and feelings.
The best way to nurture your relationship post-Ayahuasca is through open communication, understanding, and patience. Embrace the changes, talk about your feelings, and support each other. Remember, the aim isn't to avoid a breakup at all costs, but to build a relationship that's fulfilling, respectful, and based on genuine love.